just come out here and I will go home with you...
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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