Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize