Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
