Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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