he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
