high people should be assigned attendants
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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