I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Randomize
