omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
We are all done wearing pants today
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