My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
