and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Randomize
