Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
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