DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina