arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait