I want to have your abortion
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
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I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
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GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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