that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
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Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
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On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf