I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?