i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
These 31 Gross People Really Put The ‘Trash’ In ‘Trashed’
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
21 Bartenders That Are Definitely Winning At Their Jobs
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.