But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
