Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
ugly people sure do ruin things
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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