his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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