it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
