Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
