are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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