Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
