i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
my liver is dry heaving
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
