WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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