I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
