Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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