dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
