Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
