I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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