I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
So much Jack, so little girl.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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