areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
