Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
