Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
