; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
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