arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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