I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
