you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
