I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
