I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
