is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
where are my eyebrows?
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
