In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
