there's paper in my vomit.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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