forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
