nutella sex= disaster
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
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Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
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This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
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