i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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