its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
