We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
