Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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