How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
