The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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