It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Randomize