i can't believe i had my finger in that
this beer tastes like vomit already
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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