my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
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