D3 body, D1 cock
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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