That's intense
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
