I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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