last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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