That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize