I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
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