3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
