So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Randomize
